Novelty Tunes Under the Big Sky

[ No Comments ] Posted on 01.25.08 under The Everglades Room

I’ve got nothing against Philadelphia, let me make that clear. I’ve also never lived there, but did spend a few years there on several weekends, to paraphrase W.C. Fields. And even though cold, grey, rainy days could remind me of New York or Baltimore, where I actually have lived, they always make me think of Philadelphia in wintertime. Like today, when Southern California is anything but sunny, where intimidated drivers creep through rivers of standing water while daredevils swerve around them, wheels deep in the muck, throwing up rooster tails like offshore power boats, just before they lose control and start sliding sideways down Ventura Boulevard. Thank God it doesn’t snow here. I’m eager to get back to Miami.

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An Open Letter To All Historic Buildings Nearing Retirement Age

[ No Comments ] Posted on 01.14.08 under The Everglades Room

If you’re a historic building looking for a nice place to spend your golden years, Miami might not be it. Quite apart from the subtropical sun beating down your finish to a dull suggestion of what you once looked like, you’ll be subjected to a vicious cycle of heat, humidity, rain and (sometimes very big) wind that will leave you old before your time. And, if you survive all that, good luck surviving developer’s fever. No, it’s not a disease you can catch, but it can kill you just the same. As soon as the dirt under your footers becomes valuable enough, they’ll start fitting you for the wrecking ball, and you won’t be getting a corsage.

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